I was having a lovely, wholesome time with our girls yesterday - painting pottery in a local cafe, when one of the other customers stood up and I noticed his t-shirt for the first time. He was a slightly chubby young man, and his top was a little bit too snug around his belly. Printed on his t-shirt, in huge, easy-to-read letters were the words: "May I recommend the sausage", accompanied by a large cartoon hand, helpfully pointing to his crotch. Until this point, his crotch had obviously not been on my mind, but now, rather distressingly, I found myself wondering what type of sausage he was attempting to advertise, in this mimicking of a waiter in a posh restaurant. Frankly, this was an unwelcome intrusion, and one which left me wondering what type of person feels the need to announce the presence of their genitalia to the world. If he felt that having a penis was newsworthy, then I'm pretty sure I would not want to sit next to him at a dinner party.
His garment tops the list of the typically crude and moronic t-shirts available to men in this country (for the people living outside the UK, I should explain that t-shirts for men are often either completely plain, or attempt to wittily talk about how often they have sex). Perhaps his t-shirt was made for the Japanese market, where birth-rates are worryingly low, and the garment could be viewed as a helpful reminder. Perhaps not. I suspect it was merely meant to be amusing. For me, however, it was just jaw-droppingly embarrassing, and I couldn't help but wonder whether he was even vaguely aware of how childish it made him look.
It does make one think though: How come men's t-shirts are supposed to point out how sexually active they are, while women's t-shirts tend to just be pretty? How many disapproving stares would a woman wearing a crude t-shirt referring to her sexual prowess get? If someone made a t-shirt saying "may I recommend the beef curtains", with a giant hand pointing down, would women rush to buy it? It does fit with the increasing trend of celebrities sharing what I assume are meant to be tantalising glimpses of their genitalia, or the life of their genitalia, with us: From the puzzling series of celebrities leaving their limos while flashing their, erm, lack of knickers, to Jordan (sorry, Katie Price) explaining how she shaves her genitalia ("it's called pulling the bits about"). That might not be exactly what she said, by the way, but my search for her actual words brought up a series of porn sites instead, so I gave up.
You might like to know that today I will be wearing a blank T-shirt and keeping my privates private.
His garment tops the list of the typically crude and moronic t-shirts available to men in this country (for the people living outside the UK, I should explain that t-shirts for men are often either completely plain, or attempt to wittily talk about how often they have sex). Perhaps his t-shirt was made for the Japanese market, where birth-rates are worryingly low, and the garment could be viewed as a helpful reminder. Perhaps not. I suspect it was merely meant to be amusing. For me, however, it was just jaw-droppingly embarrassing, and I couldn't help but wonder whether he was even vaguely aware of how childish it made him look.
It does make one think though: How come men's t-shirts are supposed to point out how sexually active they are, while women's t-shirts tend to just be pretty? How many disapproving stares would a woman wearing a crude t-shirt referring to her sexual prowess get? If someone made a t-shirt saying "may I recommend the beef curtains", with a giant hand pointing down, would women rush to buy it? It does fit with the increasing trend of celebrities sharing what I assume are meant to be tantalising glimpses of their genitalia, or the life of their genitalia, with us: From the puzzling series of celebrities leaving their limos while flashing their, erm, lack of knickers, to Jordan (sorry, Katie Price) explaining how she shaves her genitalia ("it's called pulling the bits about"). That might not be exactly what she said, by the way, but my search for her actual words brought up a series of porn sites instead, so I gave up.
You might like to know that today I will be wearing a blank T-shirt and keeping my privates private.
