How come women are sluts?

Obviously, I don't mean that - however, the point I am making is entirely serious: Even in the 21st century, women's (and men's) complex sexualities are represented in stereotypically limiting and insulting ways. For instance, some men in Arabic countries believe that the women they see in Western porn really are spontaneously having sex with lots of different men - and that these women have a strong sex drive, because they are un-circumcised. The idea that un-circumcised women are promiscuous, is also used as one of the reasons for carrying out female circumcision. Even in our more liberal society, we are all also guilty of and subject to prejudices. 

Women are still seen by some as either predatory sluts or innocent and corruptible girls - hence why the debate about the 26 year old teacher Kelly Burgess, who had a relationship with her 16/17 year old male student, saw the media reporting that she had caught a sexually transmitted disease from the boy, and her lawyer describing her as young and immature. Have you ever heard a male teacher being described like that after having a relationship with a student?  

Conversely, why are ageing men with young partners described as "sugar daddies" while ageing women with young partners are described as "cougars"? How come we decided that men - who allegedly are the ones with the strong, unstoppable sex drive - age and turn into innocent, affable creatures, while women - who allegedly start out that way - turn into sexual predators? The latter being typified by the stereotype of the rampaging female divorcee, whose married friends suddenly shun her - in case she starts going after their husbands? How come male divorcees are never portrayed or viewed in this way? And have you ever wondered why there is no male equivalent to "slut"?  Gender sexual stereotypes are insulting and demeaning. Not only that - they are limiting people's rights to express themselves in whatever way they damn well want to. Think of the public outcry when Miley Cyrus started wearing revealing clothes and the outraged hyperventilating when she shot a (sometimes) naked video for one of her songs. So what? Is female sexuality really so frightening that we have to condemn and ridicule those women who are publicly confident in their sexual identity? In private, according to a Cosmopolitan magazine survey, men like it when their girlfriends want to have sex. Duh.

While the frankly polarised way the media report on men's and women's sexuality is demeaning to us all, it also perpetuates and demonstrates these stereotypes. Sadly, apart from these ideas being annoying, they are also dangerous.. Take for instance the worrying 2012 Pentagon statistic that while the debate about sexual assaults in the army focus on the female victims, there are more male assault victims (53% of victims were men - mostly assaulted by other men). So, not only do the statistics get ignored when they don't fit our stereotypes, but the assaults also mainly go unreported when the victims are male, because they feel ashamed, embarrassed and scared. This is partly for legal reasons: Most of the interviewed male victims said they had been scared of dismissal, if they had reported any sexual contact with fellow males - even unwanted contact - because openly gay military personnel were banned up until 2011. However, male domestic abuse victims also tend to avoid reporting it due to feeling ashamed and emasculated. This is not to say that women never feel ashamed in those circumstances, but they generally, certainly in the West, still feel like women. 

We are all, to greater and lesser extents, defined by these stereotypes and expectations whether they come from our families, members of our culture or the media generally, so perhaps we could all try to stop seeing stereotypes and start seeing people instead.