How come we humiliate our ageing celebrities?

So, watched the Eurovision last night. Apart from Denmark winning (yeeeees) and the weirdly shiny, shrieky Romanian man with the oiled-up dancers, the thing that stuck in my mind the most was the sight of poor Bonnie Tyler, struggling on with "Believe in me". Honestly, I do think that it was one of the best performances of the evening, and a very catchy song, not that that is saying much. However, her voice, while always croaky, had reached a rather alarmingly deep level. My 5 year old watched the performance and asked in wonder: "Who has that voice?", as if she was expecting a burly man to pop up behind Bonnie, thus revealing her to have been miming all along. At one point during the performance, she started swaying dangerously, and I feared the worst. Turned out she was just dancing - well, swaying, with a slightly confused look in her eyes.

This is an appeal on behalf of Ageing Celebrities UK (formerly "Help the Ageist" and "I Thought He Was Dead"): The cruel exploitation of our ageing celebrities must stop. Bonnie Tyler is merely the latest in a long line of celebrity OAP victims. The Eurovision Committee is particularly high-profile, luring pensioners into their web with promises of glory, new-found fame and recording contracts. Witness Engelbert Humperdinck's performance at last year's Eurovision (he came second to last). Mr. Humperdinck had resorted to drinking and singing karaoke in his hotel during the performances and the wait for the results. The traumatised singer had warned Bonnie Tyler that it would be "the longest night" of her life. His fellow hotel guests shared the sentiment.

The ageing celebrities are not safe anywhere - being lulled into a cosy fantasy of a bit of extra pocket money and a string of tv appearances, if they appear on such undignified affairs as "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here" and "Strictly Come Dancing", where, if they are really unlucky, they get to eat bugs and do their backs in. So, if you, or an ageing celebrity you know, are contacted by a television producer, do not attempt to approach them. Contact Age UK, and we will do our best to help you regain your dignity. Many thanks.