When did hubby and I become old? Or, at least, not as young as we used to be? (Let us not exaggerate here!). Was it the moment we embarked on our honeymoon, aged 26 and 27? Looking over at my new husband in the car, I couldn't help but notice that his nose hair had suddenly decided it was obviously safe to relax and sprout, as he had successfully secured a mate. Admittedly, that was pretty much it for the next 9 years. Until I looked in the mirror a few months ago and realised, to my horror, that I had started cultivating my own patch. Damn it! No idea how long that has been there. Have my friends just been staring at it silently for years, hoping I would notice myself? Perhaps I will get hairier, as my husband gets more bald. Just to balance things out. I'm not just being paranoid: By your late 20s, your body is already well on its way downhill, as your brain and lungs start ageing at 20, while skin starts ageing around 25. Hair starts ageing at 30, which could explain my own, perhaps overdue, discovery a few months ago. Basically, you just slowly start decaying.
Or was it the moment he went to pay for the petrol and returned with a packet of Werther's Originals? When I asked him why on earth he had bought those, he replied, rather smugly, "because they are smooth, creamy and uncommonly good". Clearly, the adverts work.
Was it when I realised that I was older than most of the audiences at the comedy gigs I attended? Was it when I felt stupid for using the word gigs? Or was it when shop assistants started calling me "madam", instead of flirting with me? Walking around certain clothes shops nowadays feels depressingly ageing, as I realise that the vast majority of customers are young enough to be my children - I wouldn't even have had to be a teenage mum.
Perhaps it was the day my husband returned from a field trip and ashamedly revealed his very badly torn trousers, declaring that he was too old to jump over fences and anyway, he had done his back in. Maybe the fact that I find myself groaning with pleasure when I sit down after a (not very) taxing gentle stroll makes me feel older than my years. Exhaling as I get up doesn't exactly help either.
The absolute low point so far: Sitting at the breakfast table in a hotel, wondering why my knickers were pinching me. Back in our room, I went to the toilet, only to discover the culprit: A small hairclip, neatly attached to the side of my knickers. That's when I remembered: As we were in a hotel room, and had only brought a few items and bags with us, I had laid out my clothes the night before and attached the hairclip to my knickers, thinking that I would definitely spot it, and thus not leave it behind. Sigh.....
I may as well give up now. Pass me the Werther's
Try turning 40, as I have (un) fortunately just done. My wife (a sprightly 31) is now telling me she feels old and I try to stave off feeling old to no avail. The fact is that I am simply not active as I used to be, I have a sedentary job, and running after a two year old is my only saving grace in my feeble attempt to stay young! At least you have some remembrance of your youth... Although I do still get asked got my i.d. when purchasing alcohol... Maybe out of pity?
ReplyDeleteHee hee : 0 You always look really young, I think, Robert. It's all in the mind - I need to remember that : ) That's why we have to steer clear of shops that mainly cater for teenagers. Or try hanging out with properly old people, who will always think we are mere kids!
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